Poles will ignore many things, regardless of whether they agree with a given government or not. The world is not always so forgiving. We guess that the new minister of foreign affairs will have to explain many decisions of the authorities to our friends from other countries. We are happy to help him.
On a daily basis, hardly anyone keeps track of summit meetings or subsequent visits by foreign delegations. However, when a politician has a slight mishap or a more spectacular blunder, we instinctively prick our ear.
For the new minister, as a warning, we have a few real-life (or more specifically:Polish history) examples. And we sincerely hope that he will avoid making similar mistakes!
Train your staff properly
One of the first things the new Ministry of Foreign Affairs started doing in the summer of 1945 was training its own staff. The former Polish diplomatic corps (subordinate to the government in exile) did not intend to cooperate with the communist government on the Vistula, and the posts had to be staffed by someone else.
The now defunct Bruhl's Palace. Before the war, this was what the seat of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs looked like, and the diplomacy of the time operated on a grand scale. The post-war Ministry of Foreign Affairs had a high bar.
The Consular and Diplomatic School began operating at the ministry in September, with 45 participants attending the first course. Authors of the "History of Polish diplomacy of the 10th-20th centuries" among the compulsory subjects, apart from a foreign language, they mention, among others, civil, commercial and maritime law, the history of Poland in the 19th and 20th centuries, and political geography.
The course ended with a difficult exam that many participants could not pass for any treasures in the world. We advise the new minister - it is good to take care of the right selection of staff to avoid mishaps resulting from lack of knowledge. After all, his staff cannot be inferior to that trained in these justly by-gone times.
Take care of the appearance of the facilities
Subsequent press reports terrify us with a huge budget hole. Well, the brightest Republic is not abundant. It is known that savings are sought everywhere, although it is not worth it everywhere. What the embassy of our country looks like is its showcase.
Years later, Stanisław Ciosek, the Polish ambassador to Moscow since 1989, lamented the state of his facility immediately after its takeover. When he got there after being nominated, he found a picture of misery and despair.
The furniture was from the seventies and as the ambassador wrote directly in the book "Memoirs (not necessarily) diplomatic":
They were worn, worn out, neglected. Swaying tables, sheets instead of tablecloths. In the kitchen, mainly bigos thermoses, only vodka in the alcohol warehouse.
This was the showcase of Poland in the capital of the "brotherly nation". Ciosek was simply ashamed of visiting other embassies.
Apart from blushing up to the roots of his hair, he could do little - he was under a central supply system, and even to buy a set of glasses he had to have permission. Like nothing, Józef Beck was turning over in his grave. We advise the new head of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs - this is not the way.
Polish embassy in Moscow. Photo published under license CC BY-SA 2.5, author Sergij Sazankow.
Remember good table manners
One of the tasks of diplomats and prominent politicians representing the country abroad is to participate in official galas, cocktails and dinners. In these situations, one of the key things is to behave properly at the table. This point was a real challenge for the leaders of the People's Republic of Poland during "guest appearances".
The embassies of Western countries served very elegant meals, and the coverings included, for example, several types of forks and knives.
The Polish elite, which rose to the top on the wave of the workers 'and peasants' revolution, successfully fought against the enemies of socialism, but they had a problem distinguishing between a fish fork and a meat fork. This lack of sophistication has become the source of numerous blunders, the mishap of comrade "Wiesław" is almost legendary.
Władysław Gomułka came from a simple family. He finished school education at the age of 12, and was a locksmith by profession. As the first secretary of the Central Committee of the Polish United Workers' Party, he often had to perform representative functions. Once upon a time he was at a party at the French embassy.
Władysław Gomułka was much better at farm visits than at elegant banquets. (photo:public domain)
One of the dishes served during the ceremonial meal was seafood. Due to the fact that you often need to help your fingers when eating them, on which there is a residue of sauce and smell, they are usually served with a small dish of water with lemon slices to wash your hands.
Gomułka, who knew lemon as an addition to tea, considered the contents of the bowl a drink and drank it simply, thus causing consternation. Undaunted neighbors at the table explained to him the proper use of the water with lemon slices.
The first secretary took this information so much to heart that when the punch was served with floating slices of fruit at the end of the party, of course ... he washed his hands in it.
We advise the head of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, with sympathy and respect, to be careful where he puts his hands. Even the best people make mistakes.
Be careful not to get overwhelmed by sleep
Poland can pride itself on many great composers, but not every politician and diplomat is a fan of classical music.
Although it is good to organize such elegant recitals for foreign guests, you have to be very careful.
If the heart does not melt to the sounds of sonatas and the brain does not play complicated scores in memory, it is better to use strong coffee just in case, or three if necessary. Alternatively, you can arrange for someone to poke when needed.
It was forgotten by Bronisław Komorowski, who in 2014 hosted the princely couple from Luxembourg with his wife. On this occasion, a concert of Fryderyk Chopin's music was held in the Orangery in Łazienki Królewskie.
Concert performed by the National Philharmonic Symphony Orchestra at the Stanisławowski Theater in the Old Orangery on the occasion of the 20th anniversary of the 1989 elections (photo published under the CCA BY SA 3.0 license, author Michał Koziczyński)
During the process, the president simply began to fall asleep in the world. Fortunately, the First Lady came to his rescue and discreetly signaled him at strategic moments.
The advice is very simple. Mr. Minister - in the morning, please put your Red Bull in your briefcase!
Remember who you are actually discussing with
The issue of displaying the flags of foreign visitors can be quite slippery. When it suddenly turns out that someone has twisted the colors, it is usually too late to save the day. Anna Fotyga, Minister of Foreign Affairs in the government of Jarosław Kaczyński and Kazimierz Marcinkiewicz, found out painfully about this.
The flags are ALMOST identical…
In 2006, in Warsaw, Fotyga received her Russian colleague, Sergei Lavrov. When the guest appeared in front of the palace of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs on Foksal Street, above his head instead of the Russian flag,… Czech was fluttering in the wind. As Łukasz Walewski writes in the book “Say hello to the queen. Blunders, bloopers, faux pas and other stories ":
[...] although the MFA employees were trying to fix the scam at an express pace by displaying the right flags, it was too late.
Lavrov kept a good face for a bad game, but a spokesman for the ministry announced that heads would fall for this mishap.
Watch out for local cuisine
In 1996, the then Deputy Prime Minister and Minister of Finance, Grzegorz Kołodko, traveled to Turkmenistan on behalf of the Polish government, and at the same time the World Bank.
He was accompanied by Stanisław Ciosek, the Polish ambassador to Moscow, as a guide in the country of the Eastern Bloc. As the ambassador noted in his memoirs:
One day, while wandering around the city, we found lunch time.
- We go to the hotel, they serve decent food - I said.
But Grzegorz Kołodko, who can be overbearing towards the environment, declared that we are not going back anywhere, but eating nearby, and it is necessary to have something local.
- There will be a problem - I warned.
The local eatery chosen by the minister would hardly be included in the Michelin guide. Before the honorable guests could enter, the flies had to be chased out first, using branches.
Zero alcohol!
Familiar with the realities of Ciosek, apart from local delicacies, ordered a hundred of vodka, they advise his fellow diners to do the same. He preferred to "decontaminate" the food to be sure. Meanwhile, Kołodko, as a non-drinker and disliking drinking alcohol around him, authoritatively forbidden vodka.
A market in Ashgabat, the capital of Turkestan, full of colors and aromas. The richness of the local cuisine led the Polish deputy prime minister astray. (photo published under the license of CCA SA 4.0, author Ziegler175)
The ambassador, who was the only one who did not report to him, was not going to listen. The rest of the revelers… were seriously ill at the command of their superior. The powerful poisoning did not spare Kolodka himself, who, however, did not later ask Ciosek for treatment. The diplomat commented it witty years later:
Apparently he was fighting the disease with overpowering, even quite successfully. But he suffered his damage anyway.
What is the lesson from this event for the new minister? First of all, in a bit more exotic country you should be very careful with the local cuisine, and it is never a bad idea to take medications to help with stomach sensations just in case. After all, a diplomat who sits in the toilet and not at the meeting will not do much. Second, some rules should not be adhered to blindly and sometimes it is worth listening to a more experienced man instead!
We hope that our short list of blues and blues of politicians and diplomats of the Most Serene Republic of Poland, prepared especially for the new minister, will allow him to avoid their stumbles. Although… who knows? After all, history likes to repeat itself.
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