The eternal conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has also affected the most powerful families in the world. And if, in the case of rank and file citizens, these conflicts only affect the comfort of life of its members, then in the ruling families they can affect the fate of the country.
One of the toughest mother-in-law was Queen Victoria holding her family with an iron fist. Even her grown children were afraid of their mother who invented and applied her own rules of life. Monarchini was not an easy character and was used to listening and playing by her rules.
Queen Victoria and Maria Romanow
Maria, Queen of Romania and granddaughter of Victoria, recalled that when visiting the Queen, her children and grandchildren always feared how this meeting would turn out . The only person in the royal family who did not feel fear of the queen was her Russian daughter-in-law - Grand Duchess Maria Alexandrovna (1853-1920), daughter of Alexander II. "Maria is not afraid of me at all," the amazed Queen wrote to her eldest daughter and namesake.
Maria Alexandrovna was the wife of Prince Alfred (1844-1900) - Victoria's second son. Admittedly, the queen did not like Russia and her tsar, because the Romanov Empire competed with Great Britain, among others for influence in Afghanistan, but consented to this marriage. All because Affie as Alfred was called by his relatives, he was a bachelor for a long time, and he was - as his mother used to say - "distant, irritable, insecure, and at the same time stubborn." The monarchine admitted:"(...) I do not trust him for a penny (...). He's a complete stranger to me. " The only way to reform Affi was to get married.
The relationship between Alfred and Maria Alexandrovna was based on feeling. But in the case of the prince, as Julia Gelardi writes, not without significance was the sizeable dowry of his future wife . In turn, the Russian woman was guided by the prestige of her future husband's family. The couple's wedding took place in January 1874 in St. Petersburg. The bride and groom were to live in London.
Portrait of Tsarina Maria Alexandrovna by Franz Xaver Winterhalter
Life in her new homeland turned out to be a disappointment for the Duchess of Edinburgh (this was the title Maria Alexandrovna received after her wedding). She was irritated by the English food, the weather, the husband who turned out to be an alcoholic and the new family, especially the mother-in-law, "that old idiot" . But Maria Alexandrovna, a pampered daughter who was used to giving orders, did not give in to Victoria. She lived as she wanted. She proudly flaunted her title of "Imperial Highness" (her new family is "only" Royal Highness), stinging her eyes with an impressive collection of jewels. Against her mother-in-law's will, she refused to let her daughter Maria marry George, heir to the British throne and future George V.
In 1893, the Duchess of Edinburgh moved to Coburg, the capital of the Duchy of Sasco-Coburg-Gotha, where her husband took the throne from his childless uncle. It was a small state inhabited by less than 250,000 people. But as ruler Maria Alexandrovna finally felt like the mistress of her own life. As her sister-in-law Wiktoria wrote, the Russian woman "loves being No. 1 and the reigning princess".
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Sissi and Archduchess Sophia
Unlike Maria Alexandrovna, with a strong personality and sizeable fortune, the Austrian Empress Elizabeth, known as Sissi (1837-1898), was a lost teenager and a poor relative at the Viennese court. Sissi was the wife of Franz Józef, although in fact his mother - Archduchess Sophia - appointed him as his future wife Elżbieta's older sister - Helena. Upon seeing only 15-year-old Elizabeth, the Austrian emperor resigned from the bride chosen by his mother and wanted to marry Sissi . Archduchess Sophia was against her son's decision, but the son stood up to his mother:"Either she or none!" Sissi and Franz Josef were married on April 24, 1854 in Vienna.
The coronation of Franz Joseph and Elizabeth as King and Queen of Hungary
Elizabeth and her newly wedded husband were cousins, because their mothers - née a Bavarian princess - were sisters. It seemed that Archduchess Sophia would make it easier for her niece to adapt to her new environment. But the mother-in-law did not apply any concessions to the daughter-in-law. It was hard for the young empress, who grew up in an informal atmosphere in the country estate of Possenhofen in Bavaria, to conform to the rigid protocol of the Vienna Hofburg. She lacked good manners; besides, Sissi was shy and not used to being in a lot of company. Archduchess Sophia did not take into account neither the young age of her daughter-in-law, nor her character traits ...
When the young couple had their daughter, the mother-in-law - without agreeing with the child's parents - named the girl in her honor, took her from the parents and placed her in their apartments . She did the same with her other granddaughter. The Archduchess, although she loved her granddaughters, blamed her daughter-in-law for the lack of a male heir and left a note for her in which she emphasized that her only role was to give birth to a son. She added that, not being the mother of the heir to the throne, "she is only a foreigner in her husband's homeland, indeed, a dangerous foreigner".
No wonder Elizabeth felt unwell at the Hofburg:she was weak, coughed, showed signs of pulmonary tuberculosis. As Brigitte Hamman, Sissi's biographer emphasizes, as soon as the Empress was away from the Viennese court, her well-being improved. "
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Two women of Santa Claus II
The most serious repercussions had the rivalry between the wife of Nicholas II - Aleksandra Fedorovna, née Alix Heska (1872-1918) - and his mother Maria Feodorovna (1847-1928). Nicholas and Aleksandra were married on November 14, 1894. It was not a joyful event for his mother, because on October 20 she lost her beloved husband - Alexander III. Besides - in her opinion - Alix Heska was not suitable for the role of the future empress. A very beautiful young woman was morbidly shy, blushed in the presence of strangers, had no personal charm, did not know the art of conversation .
It soon turned out that Maria Fedorovna was right. During receptions and audiences, Alexander Fedorovna was often unable to utter a word or uttered a few perfunctory sentences, therefore she was considered haughty and too proud. In addition, she did not hide boredom in the performance of representation duties, although, according to an unwritten tradition, her task was to preside over the so-called "Capital society".
Tsar Nicholas II with his family. From the left, Olga, Maria, wife of Alexander Fyodorovna, Anastazja, Alexei and Tatiana
Besides, Alix, brought up in the modest court of little Hesse under the dictation of her grandmother Victoria, did not accept the atmosphere of fun and lightness. Fearing the morale of her daughters, she limited the girls' contacts as much as possible not only with the court, but also with the closest family . Maria Fedorovna described her granddaughters as "hostages to their mother's paranoia."
Alexandra Feodorovna did not understand that she was not a private person and that she had to perform duties at the court. She holed up in Tsarskoye Selo and wanted a husband all to herself. For the first 10 years of her marriage, she had to share it with her mother-in-law, who often advised her not very politically experienced son . It was only after the birth of her son in 1904 that Alexandra Fedorovna felt confident enough that she dismissed her mother-in-law and became her husband's only adviser. ("Just to think that this little Hessian princess who knows nothing of politics is now advising the Russian Emperor!" - ironized William II.)
Thus, Alexander determined the tragic isolation of the emperor and influenced his relations with his family, court and subordinates. Maria Fedorovna in vain appealed to her son for a little sense and openness.
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Bibliography:
- Gelardi, Amazing Romanov women. Warsaw, 2012
- Hamman, Empress Elizabeth. Warsaw, 2008
- King., The Last Empress. New York, 1996