Marriage is one of those ceremonies that have endured through the centuries. Today a testimony to the love between two people, it was for many centuries the instrument in family alliances and a way to climb the ladder of society. Through this article, I invite you to discover the evolution of medieval marriage over the centuries , as well as its rituals and all that derives from them. Notice to fans of rose water novels, this reading on marriage in the Middle Ages is not for you 😃
Medieval marriage evolved over the centuries
From polygamy to monogamy
In Antiquity, polygamy was customary, especially in Roman high society. It is not uncommon for a man to marry several wives. In the 2nd century, practices evolved and medieval marriage became monogamous …On paper. In reality, concubinage and adulterous relationships remain commonplace. Even if these practices are not authorized by the Church, they are still tolerated.
Another practice, a little less common, was totally prohibited but tolerated:the abduction of young girls . This unconventional system allowed men to form a superior marriage their social rank, or simply to validate an unwanted marriage by the parents.
From endogamy to hypergamy
In the High Middle Ages until the 8th century, the main objective of medieval marriage was to form or consolidate family alliances . It is then endogamous, that is to say, it is created within a restricted framework. It is therefore common at this time to marry your cousin to a fairly close degree. Medieval marriage was not very religious at this time.
From the 9th century, this custom will evolve with the rise of the Carolingians, who will, with the Church, begin to frame marriage by establishing the monogamous couple , and the impossibility of breaking it. Endogamy is prohibited up to the 7th degree of cousinhood, and incestuous marriages are totally prohibited.
With these changes, medieval marriage no longer aimed to create family pacts, but to change its own condition in society and increase its power. The noble seeks to marry a woman of higher rank in order to rise in society. Religion then takes its place in marriage, and even becomes the only legally valid marriage .
At what age did people get married in the Middle Ages?
Here again, “customs” have evolved over the centuries. In the 12th century, the minimum age required to get engaged was 7 years old , and for to get married 12 years .
In the 14th century, when the Black Death raged in the Kingdom of France, the age of marriage in the Middle Ages was about 15 years old for women and 25 years for men . But a new phenomenon appears:mortality being high, remarriages are frequent, and the gaps between the two spouses are growing. These large age differences during marriage in the Middle Ages are all the more important among the nobles, who wait to have a good situation to find a wife.
At the end of the Middle Ages, the average age for marriage was 30 for men and 21 for women.
The wedding ceremony in the Middle Ages
The absence of ceremony until the 11th century
Until the 11th century, marriage was hardly celebrated and the reception does not exist. For aristocrats, a simple exchange of rings and the delivery of the dower by the husband to his wife (The dower represents the property to which the wife can claim on the death of her husband). The dower, however, lapses if the widow remarries. The medieval wedding is then very private, the time is not for festivities for this day. For the peasant population, the wedding ceremony is uncommon . The cohabitation between the two people validates the marriage, and there is no religious obligation.
Marriage in the Middle Ages began to be celebrated in the 11th century
From the 11th century, the medieval wedding ceremony will totally evolve. The religious character will take its place . Marriage is no longer private. It is celebrated in public in front of witnesses – the objective being that people can attest that it is not an endogamous marriage. The ceremony usually takes place under the porch of a church , which is now authentic for the legal validation of marriage. It was during this period that the ritual of the delivery of the future bride by the father appeared. . The newlyweds then exchange a kiss after exchanging their rings.
A place for celebrations from the 13th century
The medieval wedding ceremony will take on its full meaning from the 13th century. The union is truly celebrated , inside the church, in front of witnesses. Rituals will appear:the famous phrase “I marry you with this ring ”, the wedding procession accompanying the bride and groom to their home. The Church imposes a series of customs around marriage in order to formalize and frame it.
The consummation of marriage in the Middle Ages
Procreation as the objective of medieval marriage
In the Middle Ages, marriage out of passion and love was not accepted – it is even prohibited. The objective of medieval marriage is to form alliances or to rise in society, and this passes in particular through procreation. The carnal act is therefore not ordered for pleasure, but only to make children and enlarge the family. After the ceremony, the priest blesses the bed for sleeping in public , so that the carnal act can bear fruit.
This carnal act is also called the “marital debt” :a man must be powerful enough during love, and a woman must give children to her husband and become a mother. Even if it is strongly recommended in the couple in the Middle Ages, it is still subject to many prohibitions. Many sex positions are strictly prohibited – the only one being accepted being the position of the missionary. As for sexual practices, the Church formally condemns those who wish to innovate or spice up their life as a couple. Carnal “pleasure” is also subject to a particularly strict schedule .
Periods of abstinence from marriage in the Middle Ages
In the Middle Ages, the couple could not indulge in the sexual act when they wanted. Many periods of abstinence are put in place . At the level of weekdays first:Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays are prohibited. During certain periods of the year:Easter and Christmas fasts, as well as all holy holidays. And it is also not allowed during periods of menstruation, pregnancy, for 40 days after childbirth and during breastfeeding. This matrimonial rule is the same whether you are a peasant, or King or Queen.
If the couple in medieval times really respected these prohibitions, few births would really have taken place.
The “droit de seigneur” in the Middle Ages:info or intox?
The famous “droit de cuissage” is a right “granted” to the lord to consummate the marriage of his vassal or serf. In other words, after the wedding, it is the lord who ends up in the couple's bed with the young wife. This “droit de seigneur” is of course a legend , no written record relates this kind of situation during a marriage in the Middle Ages. This legend is told in the Age of Enlightenment and in the 19th century to denounce the abuses of the aristocracy.
Did divorce exist in medieval times?
Marriage in the Middle Ages is indissoluble . Under no circumstances is it possible for either spouse to “divorce” and end this marriage. Some exceptions exist all the same, and make it possible to end a union:the impotence of the spouse not being able to give heirs to the marriage, consanguinity , a marriage not consented , or if the groom wishes to enter religious orders.
Source:
– “Daily Life in the Middle Ages” by Justine Defrance – New World Edition