A president who openly says he can't find his own wife in bed? The head of state who publicly checks his weight with cognac bottles? Over the last 25 years, our politicians and diplomats have proved more than once that Poles have a lazy fantasy. Not only geographic.
What is diplomacy? The term itself was introduced in the 18th century. It is usually derived from the word "diploma". In ancient Greek it meant a tablet in two, containing the content of the contract concluded between the parties.
This is theory, but practice is most often associated with the notion of diplomacy. After all, before the contract is signed, a lot of appropriate gestures must be made for the parties to come to an agreement.
"You bastard!"
It is the practice that loses the inexperienced, especially in contacts on the international arena. Sometimes these are just unpleasant mishaps, and sometimes politicians deliberately give up learning what a label is in practice. An example of such a departure from the rules in domestic politics was the behavior of Andrzej Lepper.
In the nineties, he often played the role of an uncompromising people's tribune. He undertook actions that looked grotesque in the media, and even missed them. It is enough to recall one performance of the former Samoobrona leader to remind us why many voters remember today.
Andrzej Lepper was a well-known opponent of etiquette in Polish politics.
Commenting on the - in itself subtle - statement of Minister Cimoszewicz that people affected by the flood "could have insurance", Lepper did not mince words :“Arrogance, shoe, rudeness is visible from him. I wonder who was in favor of such a git being the minister of foreign affairs. ".
Polish politics has never lacked natural comedians. Their clash with international salons often left a lasting impression. President Lech Wałęsa was undoubtedly the leader in this, although his successors at the Presidential Palace did a lot to match him.
"The bed was so big ..."
The first president of the Third Republic of Poland, elected in free elections, was not a polyglot. Using the power of his name, however, he was able to attract the attention of the media and decision-makers around the world. It was not always easy for him to find himself in new conditions.
For example, one of Walesa's first visits to Great Britain was remembered. This is what Jan Wojciech Piekarski tells about her in the book "Polski Most Spiegów" :
Working with Lech Wałęsa gave a lot of satisfaction, because after the transformations in Poland he was one of the most recognizable politicians in the world. As Andrzej Olechowski used to say about him:"Wałęsa is Polish Coca-Cola, our trademark". All the powerful of this world - kings, presidents, politicians and businessmen - wanted to welcome him and meet him.
Walesa had to get used to it and he seemed lost at times. His statement from a visit to Great Britain is known. Well, after visiting Windsor Castle, he said: "The bed was so big that I couldn't find Danuśka".
Lech Wałęsa complained that he could not find "his Danuśka" in a bed in a British palace.
Sounds like nothing big? And yet, the diplomatic corps has specific rules and regulations, the observance of which is crucial for a politician who wants to keep his "face". Obviously, deviations from generally accepted rules cause amusement, surprise and are part of endless jokes.
Back to the wall
All language and clothing blunders remain one of them. An extremely embarrassing clothing failure happened to Piekarski. As he mentions in the book "Polish bridge of spies" when he started his career, he worked in Laos as an interpreter at a Polish diplomatic mission:
And one time [...] I had an embarrassing situation:my pants on my butt broke. I leave the club to go change and at this point a jeep with soldiers and a limo with the prime minister pulls up.
Ambassador Jan Wojciech Piekarski had his pants cracked when Polish diplomats were visited by… Prime Minister of Laos, Souvanna Phouma (pictured with John F. Kennedy).
I was standing close to the wall all the time, basically sliding my back against it, a smile sticking to my mouth. Fortunately, the shirts were worn out then, which in my case was a form of camouflage [...].
Not all such events can be dismissed with a smile. Some are close to embarrassment. An invaluable "actor" in this respect was the President of Russia Boris Yeltsin, who several times during the performance of his duties proved to be a fan of visits to double gas .
Aleksander Kwasniewski, Wałęsa's successor, performed almost as successful. In 1999, during the ceremony at the cemetery of Polish soldiers in Kharkiv, the president was in a worse shape. Although officially upholds the version about the unidentified "right shin" disease, his behavior, according to many, simply indicated that he had consumed too much alcohol. And all this during the celebration of the anniversary of the Katyn massacre, in a place that requires exceptional balance and seriousness!
The mysterious right shin indisposition suffered by President Kwasniewski during the celebration of the anniversary of the Katyn massacre, disturbingly resembled the effects of excessive consumption of alcohol drinks.
How much does the president weigh?
There is also another story related to the percentage, the protagonist of which is Kwasniewski. During his official visit to Yerevan, the president was invited to the local distillery. The point of the program like any other, if not for the fact that the hosts decided to use the President of the Republic of Poland as… a weight. The case was described by the former Polish ambassador to Moscow, Stanisław Ciosek:
There was a huge weight in the courtyard. At the end of one of her arms, several meters high, hung a shawl with a seat on it, and at the end of the other - a huge barrel. President Kwasniewski was asked to sit down comfortably, and the head of our state was weighed using the ararat as weights. Twenty years old!
It was the time when Aleksander Kwaśniewski looked exceptionally good, so the cognac went a bit, maybe six cartons . Finally, the scales became even, and the alcohol obtained in this way found its way to the Polish delegation. The president - a good gentleman - after the ceremony, gave each of us a carton of delicious liquor.
It turned into a joke. For the future, however, it might be worth considering whether admitting the head of the Polish state to appear in such a situation proves the professionalism of the Polish diplomatic corps.
"Unfortunately you have great feedback ..."
The truth is that in Poland, regardless of the political option, we did not have too many born diplomats in managerial positions. Staff shortages turned out to be a big problem, especially after the change of the system. The new democratic authorities did not have the right number of people, so they partly used the old workers. With the influx of new officers, this led to inevitable tensions. He mentions an extremely unpleasant conversation in "Polish Spy Bridge" Piekarski ambassador:
I was working in Baghdad at the time and came to Poland on vacation. At that time, one of the first ... I won't say "purges", but I would call it "an attempt to review the personnel" was carried out at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. And Ananicz, a man from the "new" team, stated that the Ministry of Foreign Affairs is finally being recovered and the right people are being put in the right places.
The reconstruction of the diplomatic corps after the breakthrough of 1989 was a real challenge for the authorities.
"We would cancel you too, but unfortunately you have great feedback from the Americans," he concluded. I felt like someone had kicked me. I was treated as if I was in Washington's service, as if the Americans would not let me be fired. And yet I worked for Poland, building its strong position in the eyes of the then most powerful power with which we wanted to enter into an alliance.
This one picture is enough to prove that working as a diplomat is neither easy nor pleasant. Sometimes it requires a lot of dexterity and flexibility, and sometimes just tact - and this is often missing. An example is provided by the invaluable Lech Wałęsa. During the discussion in the TV studio, he had the opportunity to greet his rival Aleksander Kwaśniewski with the words: "This gentleman entered the studio as if he were into a barn, he did not even greet me" . Fortunately, Polish politicians most often retain this type of "courtesy" for their domestic opponents.
For Hunters Only
Bronisław Komorowski turned out to be a worthy successor to Wałęsa and Kwaśniewski in terms of the blunders committed. In recent years, his meetings with Barack Obama have caught the attention of the media. It must be admitted that in this case the head of the Polish state showed a total lack of understanding for his audience.
The meetings of Presidents Komorowski and Obama were full of more or less amusing misunderstandings.
In 2010, both presidents were sitting comfortably in their seats when the President of the Republic of Poland blurted out:“When we go on a long hunt, it is important that our homes, our wives and children are safe. Then the hunting is better. " He meant, of course, the military missions in Afghanistan and Iraq. The setback was double. Not only did he reduce armed intervention to the level of sports "entertainment" and opponents to the role of "game", he also forgot that he was talking to ... a declared opponent of the hunt .
Another time, the interpreter did not show off in communication between the Polish and American leaders. Komorowski wanted to make a rather awkward joke, comparing the relations between the two countries to the marital relations. "You must trust your wife, but you must check whether she is faithful," he concluded. The accompanying expert in translation used the term "like with your wife". It turned out scandalous; thankfully Obama, even though he felt offended, left it without comment.
A few years later, the president of the United States made his revenge with a vengeance. It took place during the posthumous presentation of the Presidential Medal of Freedom for the work and work of Jan Karski, courier and emissary of the Polish Underground State. Obama referred to historical events and noted that Karski's work helped to discover "Polish extermination camps" . It is not difficult to notice that such behavior did not gain the approval of Polish diplomacy, and the White House had to explain itself extensively.
Created by Minister Waszczykowski, the San Escobar state is already living its own life, more and more distant from politics.
Towards San Escobar
The icing on the cake when it comes to the blunders of Polish diplomats is the speech of the former Minister of Foreign Affairs, Witold Waszczykowski. The politician managed to create a new state, San Escobar. This name was mentioned during an interview for the media after the return of the head of Polish diplomacy from the UN Security Council meeting in 2017. The minister's geographic word formation echoed loudly in Polish and international media. The topic was picked up by Internet users who soon developed a detailed map of Poland's new ally internationally.
It seems that the new ruling team is continuing the "diplomatic" work of its predecessors with dignity. One can only hope that someone will finally take to heart Piekarski's advice from "Polish bridge of spies" :“Every diplomat must be aware of the possibility of wiretapping. That is why self-discipline is necessary and you must be careful not to splash your tongue left and right.
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