19th-century guides for virgins did not ignore even the smallest details of everyday and holiday days. At the same time, their authors tried to answer great existential questions:what is the purpose of all this? What does a woman live for and for?
The answers were various, although they all had something in common:namely the determination of the meaning and purpose of women's lives was almost always done by ... men . They based their arguments on the simple conclusion that women were created differently by nature, and therefore their destiny was also different.
They explained that loneliness by no means suited women - they should live among people and always be helpful to others. It was important to be humble. As Małgorzata Stawiak-Ososińska stated in the book "The ideal and image of a Polish woman of the first half of the 19th century": They were also always to remember that are worse than men and that they are lower in the social hierarchy (p. 123).
Illustration from the "Diary of Parisian Fashions" from 1848.
The purpose of a woman's life - according to handbooks from the beginning of the century - was love for God but it was not the creator who was to pay the most attention. Here on earth, the vocation of every fulfilled woman was to fulfill herself in the privacy of the home in the roles of wife and mother (Stawiak-Ososińska, p. 123). A sense of such a goal, according to J.H. Campe (the author of "Ojcowskiejrada for my daughter" from 1848), had to be educated already when young, so that the girl had no doubts that was created not only to wear beautiful clothes, attract attention, but also to fulfill a special mission, ie to be a wife, mother, hostess .
"Alluring, submissive, accurate" from the Impuls publishing house.
It was strongly adhered to obligation serving my husband and the family in general, nothing dragged the woman away. After all, as B. Rosenblum wrote in the book "Woman, Love and Marriage in Moral, Physical, and Dietary-Medical Matters" (1844), a woman is destined to be the cradle of mankind. What if the good wife has already brought another representative or representatives of humanity into the world?
First of all, she should focus on paying attention to her husband and being his constant companion. As Stawiak-Ososińska wrote, women were to: carefully follow the spouse's recommendations and regulations , positively influence his humor (...) and through his love, tenderness, tenderness and care sweeten his everyday life . Moreover, through inner qualities and a nice appearance, the wife was to work on maintaining the unbreakable bonds of affection and love (p. 123). There was also taking care of the order, cleanliness, peace and happiness of the family, making the house full of joy, as well as being aware of market prices and being an example of diligence and resourcefulness (K. Hoffmanowa, On the Duties of Women ).
Looks like a difficult and depressing life? P. Dumont, who published his guide "On Upbringing Women and Their Destiny" in Berlin in 1867, comforted readers by saying that every wife will be rewarded for her submission ... after death.
Source:
- Małgorzata Stawiak-Ososińska, Seductive, submissive, accurate ... The ideal and image of a Polish woman in the first half of the 19th century (in the light of contemporary guides) , Impuls, Kraków 2009, pp. 122-124.